Monday, July 1, 2013

I'm addicted to quitting things


“You know that’s bad for you?”
Relationships are like coffee and cigarettes and chocolate and alcohol ... actually just anything  advisably quittable.
You quit and then you start again and then you quit and then you start again and then you quit and then start again.
After the initial despair, crippling withdrawal and general misery
You remember it as an experience which you overcame, its history
You forget how good it felt
Just a minor jam on the conveyor belt
Look at me I’m so busy  Law di daw
I am just so together, I could guffaw
Now you’re some proper independent type person
Then for no good reason, you find yourself cursin
You feel pissed off and sad and like something is missin
So you start the wishin
And so you start again
And you go
“Wow I forgot how great this was, I really missed this”
Until the point someone goes
“That’s bad for you”
And you go “But I’m happy”
And they say “You’ve had enough”
Where “Enough” is a metaphor for fostering an unhealthy dependency
And also a metaphor to stop sitting in the student restaurant alone
Sobbing into your lasagne and staring at your mobile phone
So you see yourself outside yourself and go ‘shit’
And so then you quit
So maybe suspect men should wear clothes with warning labels
That would really turn the tables
With photo’s of charred rotting hearts
Right across their private parts
Except maybe this would make me temporarily transfixed with morbid curiosity and a sense of unreality
And not awaken me to the lethality
It could even provoke me to start talking, display my geniality

In fact the only difference overall is that it is easier to find somewhere to buy my coffee quickly and when I need it
Than find a person and that thought makes me so sad I think I will eat some chocolate.

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